It took me a long time to get comfortable with telling people I am an Event Planner. The title always made me feel inadequate. Because in our part of the world, we’re quick to brand event professionals less intelligent and less achieved.
“Oh, I’m Creative Director of …!”, I’d say with great panache, when asked what I did for a living. And when the conversation moved to education, I’d elaborately spell out all my UK qualifications. Surely, that would make others respect and admire me, wouldn’t it?
My entire worth was built around work titles, accolades and certifications. I wanted so desperately to belong – to show everyone that, I too, had made it. The more I sought validation in others, the more I poured myself into my work, the more competitive I became, and the farther away from self fulfillment I seemed. Because the problem with more, is that there’s never enough.
As I went past my early thirties, my definition of success changed entirely. It was no longer about recognition from people [who truthfully didn’t give a rat’s ass anyway], but more about how much better off others were – because I had been encouraging, considerate, kind, present.
Who would have thought the day would come when I would so easily pass over new [otherwise exciting] opportunities for a mentoring session with one of my mentees, for example, or popcorn and animated movies with my son. Oh, how I craved other people’s acceptance of me. Not anymore. The only person I want to impress now, is myself. And these days, that may just mean successfully changing a light bulb in my house, or calling my mother.
Insecurity is messy. It shows up on your doorstep unannounced and nestles in all your favourite places. If you’re starting your week doubting yourself and your worth, please know that I’m praying for you. You’re enough. You’re so enough, you have no idea how enough you are.
Happy Monday friends! Stay topped up, and keep it real.
Your Event Planning BFF, Gloria. xoxo